Today we gather together to mourn the character Kip Two Elks. Kip passed away (or, in everyday terminology, 'was deleted') on Thursday, May 20th at 11:20 a.m.
Kip's passing was preceded by the lengthy wasting illness commonly known as the Editorial Process. In her prime, Kip was a unique woman, an albino Lakota woman capable of great bursts of psychic energy, which occasionally manifest itself as an electrical storm. Kip was widely loved and only a little feared.
The feared Editorial Process weakened Kip considerably. First she lost her ability to generate electrical storms; then she regained all of her pigmentation. Next, the level of her psychic energy began to dwindle.
As so often happens with this sort of wasting illness, once Kip lost her unique features, she lost her reason for being. She became boring and whiny, one of the classic signs that the end was near. After consulting several top-notch specialists on Editorial Process, Kip was deemed too weak to save as a character.
As a result of this terminal diagnosis, Kip was put on life support. Several last-ditch attempts to save her character were made, including name changes to protect the innocent. However, the Editorial Process proved to be too strong for Kip, and she succumbed on Thursday. As is the hallmark of this disease, all traces of Kip in mention of novels in progress died with her.
As per Kip's last wish, no funeral will be held, and all condolences may be directed to Sarah M. Anderson, because I could sure use them.