Boy, oh boy, last week was quiet. Nothing funny happened to me at all. In fact, ever since The Tailgate, things around this house were dull to the point of deadly. It was so quiet that I was driven to drink.
True. In some twisted hope of livening things up around here, I broke into the wine at 2:23 on a Thursday. And then I sat down and watched Batman Begins. In the middle of a work day, no less. And then, slightly more than half-drunk, I took my dogs for a walk.
And that was it. That was the excitement for the whole of the week. I don't even have a funny picture to put up. It was just that lifeless around here.
What's that? Why was it lifeless around here?
Excellent question. It was lifeless because of this.
That's China. As in, Shanghai. As in, the city where my husband spent a week on a business trip. See?
Okay, so you can't see. Trust me on this. The man was in China, where exciting things like Shanghai traffic and, most especially, a dish they told him was called "The Drunken Fish" happened to him. "The Drunken Fish" may have been a mistranslation, because according to my husband(the vegetarian), it was a big glass bowl, filled with an alcoholic salt brine--and live shrimp. As in, still living. As in, one actually jumped out of the bowl and made a break for it across the table. Don't worry, he didn't get far. He was drunk.
No doubt about it, he was in China. How do I know? Normally, I'd trot out the wonderful gift he brought me as proof he was there. However, that man--the love of my life, the father of my child--decided his gift to me was so nice that he's going to 'save' it for Christmas.
To which I responded, Nice? Better be fantastic!
Still, he did bring these:
The travel kits supplied by China Air for business travelers. Thereby proving that he went to China.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Awesome travel kits! And it's true. But perhaps you're wondering if my son missed his father? Got a little lonely in all that quiet?
Not a chance in hell.
Here's the perfect example of what kind of mother I am. When I put two and two together--in this case, husband leaving on business trip the week after we hang out with my mother at a tailgate, I acted fast. I called my mother up and said, "How would you feel about just taking the kid home with you for the week?"
To which she replied--well, I didn't really understand what she said, but there was a lot of jumping up and down and shouting to my father excitedly in the background.
My boy didn't have the chance to miss his father, more or less me. They went fishing at the Lake. They went to a Blues hockey game with his Aunt Leah. They played toys all day. They went to the Magic House. They even went grocery shopping. Everything's better when you're being spoiled by grandparents, really.
So, husband in China. Son at grandparents. It was so quiet around here, I could almost hear myself think.
This week has been completely different. First off, everyone came home. Suddenly, the house was filled with trains whistling, people shouting from other rooms about missing socks, cars vrooming across the floor.
Yesterday, well, yesterday was the most exciting day of the week. The month, in fact, because after a crap-tacular Authorial October, November has been good to me. My Agent, Laurie, e-mailed me to say that three--THREE!--editors want to look at No Man's Land, aka the bull riding book.
So, I'm excited. The husband is excited. The kid is excited, but that's mostly because he got a brownie for dessert last night. The dogs, well, they were excited (see above picture) but now they are asleep.
The quiet was nice while it lasted. But I'll take this kind of excitement every day of the week.