The Authorial Mom's lawn died over the weekend. Let us have a moment of silence as we mark the passing of this unremarkable plot of grass.
Immediate cause of death was not available, but reports on the ground indicated that a construction incident with a vehicle, identified only as a 'Bobcat,' was the chief cause of death. Additional reports indicated that a rainfall total of 2-4 inches over 34 hours may have sealed the lawn's fate.
The Authorial Mom was quoted as saying, "It wasn't the best of lawns - had a lot of weeds, lot of animals that had burrowed into it - but it was our lawn, and we loved it nonetheless." Visibly upset, the Authorial Mom continued, "We (sniff) never even got a chance to mow it this year!" Further comment could not be made.
Other members of the family were not as distraught. The Hubby was overheard saying, "I'm glad it's gone. I'm gonna get me some sod!" But when this reporter pressed him on that, he denied ever wishing ill to his yard. Local birds were also apparently delighted with the demise of the lawn, tweeting to this reporter through a translator that the worms and grubs turned up in the carnage were, "good eats." News of this further upset the Authorial Mom, who ran off while bemoaning the loss of not only her grass, but the worms for her garden.
The lawn is survived by a large (five feet tall by twelve feet wide) pile of dirt and ruts that may have been made by the same killer Bobcat that are as much as three feet deep and still filled with water four days later. This reporter was awed by the amount of water the dead lawn was no longer able to absorb.
Yes, the lawn will be sorely missed.
Services will not be held.